You have the meeting on the calendar. The one you’ve been thinking about for weeks.
And instead of preparing, you’ve been avoiding it. Because preparing makes it real.
This episode is for the week before that meeting.
So many times, I’ve been left speechless when someone started negotiating with me. Specifically, I recall wandering through the souks in Dubai, watching retailers barter with tourists like it was choreography. Everyone dancing except me. I’d freeze, put the item down, or just pay full price.
I used to think I simply sucked at this. Turns out, it’s a muscle. And this week, I’m handing you three numbers that will change how you walk into that room.
Physician Negotiation Prep: Why Rehearsing Words Isn’t Enough
Most of us practice what we’ll say. Almost none of us practice what we know.
Rehearsing your words without knowing your floor doesn’t prepare you for anything.
When the other side counters, goes quiet, or offers something you didn’t expect, and you haven’t done the math ahead of time, you won’t know which way to go.
Most physicians can tell me, vaguely, what they want. Almost none have named their floor. And the floor is the number that matters most. It’s what keeps you from accepting a deal you’ll resent in six months.
A Real Story: How a Client Turned No Into a Muscle She Could Build
I have a client who used to call out, openly, her own inability to ask for what she wanted.
This week, she told me about her wins. She asked for something and got turned down. Twice. She started to feel discouraged. So she asked one more time, in a different setting, and got a yes.
I felt like a proud parent. But the real win wasn’t the yes. It was that she’d stopped treating the no’s as failure. She started treating them as information.
She’d also been practicing in smaller ways. She asked Airbnb for a discount on a booking. She got a no. It didn’t sting. That’s the muscle building, in real time, on something low stakes.
And that’s the difference between people who negotiate well and the rest of us. It’s not the big ask. It’s the hundred small ones before it.
The Three Numbers Every Woman Physician Needs Before a Negotiation
Here’s what actually changes the outcome. Three numbers, known before you walk in.
First, your target value. The outcome you’d actually love. Not the safe ask. The one you want.
Second, your reservation value. Your true floor. The worst deal you’d still say yes to before you walk away.
Third, your BATNA. Your best alternative if this negotiation falls apart completely.
Know these three before the conversation starts, not during it.
Then there’s a second piece of homework: figure out what you can logroll. Not every negotiation is only about money. Most compensation packages have six, eight variables in them:
- salary
- admin time
- title
- bonus structure
- CME budget
- schedule
- call frequency
- leadership scope
The other side has priorities too. Logrolling means finding where your priorities and theirs don’t collide, and trading there instead of fighting over the one number everyone’s staring at.
A friend of mine asked for compensation, title, and admin time, all at once, already knowing which one she’d be thrilled with. She’d ranked them in her head before she ever sat down. That ranking is logrolling.
Last year, I got assigned Christmas. A partner got Thanksgiving and New Year’s. She had a mission trip that landed right on our Thanksgiving. When she asked to trade, I said yes, and walked away with two full weeks off over the winter holidays. That almost never happens. It happened because she asked, and I had a number I actually cared about more.
One last piece: anticipate the response, not just the ask. They might counter below your floor. You already know your floor, so you don’t take it. You ask for time instead. They might go quiet, and your job is to not fill that silence. Or they might say “this isn’t the right time.” If they do, don’t let that dissolve into vagueness. Name a specific date to come back to it.
Next Steps for Women Physician Leaders Ready to Negotiate with Clarity
The conversation is only as strong as the clarity you walk in with.
You’ve already practiced the ask in the small moments. Now do the homework. Know your target. Know your floor. Know what you’d trade. Walk in ready.
If you want help figuring out your numbers before your next negotiation, that’s exactly the kind of work I do with clients. You can apply to work with me at womenmdleaders.com/work-with-stephanie.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for leading with heart.