I used to believe I was bulletproof.
Truly.
I thought I was the exception — the one who could never burn out.
I had endless energy.
I could plan events for my team, run multi-department projects, keep my family organized, and stay upbeat and enthusiastic without ever dropping a ball.
Or so I thought.
But burnout doesn’t arrive suddenly.
It erodes slowly — quietly — in the background.
And before you recognize it, you’re no longer the same person you were.
Your energy dims.
Your spark fades.
Your patience thins.
Your joy goes missing.
And suddenly, you’re treading water in the deep end… even though you were so sure you’d never be the one who ended up there.
What I really wanted at that point was simple: to go back to the version of myself who felt bulletproof.
To get her energy back.
Her drive.
Her capacity.
But here’s what I didn’t understand at the time:
Burnout recovery is not about going backward.
It’s about becoming someone new.
Becoming Someone New
Burnout recovery is not about going backward.
It’s about becoming someone new.
- Someone wiser.
- Someone more aligned.
- Someone who leads differently.
I felt guilty for yelling at my kids.
Guilty for missing emails.
Guilty for being too tired to meet a friend for coffee.
And deep down, I was resentful — at the system, yes — but also at myself.
But the truth is, my burnout wasn’t a failure.
It was an identity collision between who I had been trained to be… and who I was meant to become.
Because most burnout begins with the belief that you shouldn’t need help, you should be able to do it on your own.
That belief may work throughout residency.
It does not work in leadership.
Women leaders who don’t burnout believe something entirely different. That is:
Investing in yourself becomes part of how you lead.
High-impact leaders:
- invest in support
- invest in clarity
- invest in skills
- invest in rest
- invest in themselves so others can rely on them sustainably
This is not indulgence.
This is leadership.
When I started truly doing this — calling EAP, going to my doctor, showing up for acupuncture, taking walks with my best friend, reading every day for my own growth — something began to shift.
Not instantly.
Not dramatically.
But steadily.
Like a ship changing direction one degree at a time.
It took nearly two years for me to feel fully aligned and confident and grounded in my own skin again.
And as frustrating as that was… it makes sense.
Because burnout doesn’t happen overnight.
And neither does becoming the woman who doesn’t burn out.
Recovery wasn’t just a set of habits — it was an identity shift.
Top Identity Shifts for Women Physician Leaders
I had to stop seeing myself as the woman who could do it all…
and start becoming the woman who chooses what matters.
For years, I believed that being “the reliable one” was part of my identity.
I thought I was supposed to be the one who:
- rallied the team for every project,
- sent out every meeting summary,
- advocated for every new initiative,
- volunteered for every sick call,
- cooked every meal,
- did all the shopping, and
- organized every event — at work and at home.
If there was a gap, I stepped into it.
If something needed doing, I handled it.
But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way:
Just because I could do all of it didn’t mean I should.
There are so many things that can be delegated, shared, reimagined, or simply let go.
I had to become the woman who chooses what is actually a value-add in my life — the woman who prioritizes what brings joy, what fills me up, and what strengthens the parts of me that leadership requires.
Because that version of me?
She leads from intention, not depletion.
I also had to stop viewing self-sacrifice as strength…
and start treating sustainability as leadership.
For me, that looked like getting brutally honest about what was draining me.
It meant no longer attending meetings “just to be a team player” when the meeting wasn’t actually beneficial. It meant letting myself receive the summary later, without guilt.
It meant no longer agreeing to meet post-call — because no one can stay awake for 30+ hours and then show up as their best, most present self.
For a long time, I had treated endurance as excellence.
I thought pushing through meant I was committed. I thought exhaustion meant I was giving my all.
What I didn’t realize was this:
Exhaustion isn’t a badge of honor.
It’s a warning sign.
And real leadership isn’t about how much you can tolerate —
it’s about how intentionally you choose where your energy goes.
I had to ask myself:
What future version of me am I trying to grow into?
And what does she need today?
Because identity is not who you are right now.
Identity is who you practice becoming.
And choosing differently — choosing sustainably — was the very first practice that helped me grow into her.
Lastly, I needed to stop believing support was a luxury…
and start believing support was a requirement.
The truth is, I waited too long to address my impending crash.
By the time I admitted how depleted I was, the support I truly needed wasn’t small — it was foundational.
I needed my team to take some of my overnight calls so I could rest and recover. And they stepped up without hesitation.
To this day, I don’t know if they realize how life-changing that act of support was for me.
Asking for something so significant felt almost… forbidden. Like something a self-sacrificing doctor — the identity I had worn for so long — could never ask for.
But receiving that help did something unexpected: It ignited my determination to rebuild myself.
If my team was going to hold me up, I was going to meet them halfway.
So I sought every form of support I had been avoiding for years.
- I hired a therapist.
- I saw my doctor.
- I worked with an executive coach.
- I built new, healthier habits.
And slowly, I started to rise.
For the first time in a long time, I could actually look up — long enough, and clearly enough — to see where boundaries needed to be.
My time… my energy… my well-being… they all needed protection I had never allowed myself to claim.
And at some point, I had to ask myself:
What future version of me am I trying to grow into?
And what does she need today?
Because identity is not who you are right now.
Identity is who you practice becoming.
As I started to feel better, everything became sharper, clearer.
I became a more strategic leader — not just reactive, but intentional.
I had the bandwidth to mentor residents and emerging leaders again.
I had more capacity to support distressed staff and managers.
Urgent projects no longer felt like landslides; they felt manageable.
And I could meet all of it — the work, the challenges, the people — with joy instead of depletion.
This was the future version of myself I had been trying to reach.
- A woman who leads without losing herself.
- A woman who chooses what matters.
- A woman whose energy goes where her impact is greatest.
And becoming her was worth every boundary, every shift, every uncomfortable moment along the way.
Call to Action
So I’ll ask you:
- Who are you practicing becoming?
- And is she a woman who burns out — or a woman who leads in a sustainable, grounded, powerful way?
This week, choose one act of self-investment as a vote for your future identity:
- outsource something
- schedule one restorative hour
- sign up for training
- ask for help
- invest in coaching
- say yes to something that grows you
- say no to something that steals your energy
Every small decision is a piece of the foundation of the woman you’re building.
And the woman you’re building — the woman who doesn’t burn out — is one the world desperately needs.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed this, jump on my mailing list at womenmdleaders.com/join! You can also find more resources and coaching at WomenMDLeaders.com.
I’m Dr. Stephanie Yamout — thank you for listening, and for leading with heart.